A To-Do List for 2020...from 1992

Sifting through my belongings, I found writing from my elementary school days. In the fifth grade, I received a writing prompt that asked where I would be in the year 2020, which was 28 years away.  The following is what I chose to write: 

"In the year 2020 a.d., I will be married with 5 children. Their ages will be 10, 12, 14, 16, 18. I will probably have 2 boys 3 girls.
I will be a very busy person. I will be a Girl Scout leader Mondays from 5:00 - 6:00 p.m. and I'm a 4-H leader on Fridays also. I teach piano lessons Tuesdays and Thursdays. On Wednesdays I'm an assistant coach for the girls' high school basketball team. Like I said, I'm a very busy person.
I also work for a very famous company. I am secretary and work from 9:00 a.m. until 5:00 p.m. week-days I make $255,000 a year. I will be living in Omaha, Nebraska by the Missouri river.
Since I don't work on week-ends, that is when we have family outings. Occasionally, we might go down to the river and take a dip. And sometimes in the winter, we'll go down to Colorado for a ski week-end.
Some people think I am free-spirited and young for 39. The also think I look young for 39, also.
I would like to add that around my home, the air is fresh, the sky is blue and the grass is green.
This may not happen to me, but this is what I hope will happen to me in the year 2020 a.d."

First of all, the five kids? With specific ages and genders? Those five ships have pretty much sailed. Secondly, you can guess my childhood activities: Girl Scouts (yes, they were on Mondays), piano lessons (Tuesdays), 4-H and basketball. I'd love to find a company that can afford $255K for a secretary - which I think might be a bit steep, even if inflation balloons in the next few years. I have no idea why I decided to locate myself in Omaha, Nebraska, unless I had recently researched it prior to the prompt. I'm not sure about taking dips in the Missouri, but I like the idea of occasional trips to Colorado, even if I've never skied. 

I love the fact that I'll be a "free-spirited" and youthful-looking 39.  

On a more serious note,  I'm not as far off from what my 11-year-old self envisioned. My environment is beautiful - fresh air, blue sky, and green grass. Occasionally, I wade into the Sebasticook River, I'm involved in a few agricultural organizations and I help coach the softball team. I worked as a secretary once, at about a tenth of the salary. I learned it wasn't for me, though.

I knew when I grew up that I wanted to be involved in my community and surround myself with loved ones while living a balanced life. As an adult, I'd almost start with the free-spirited part, because right now my success is defined internally, with minimal measurement on the outside.

So today, in 2014, where do I see myself in 2020?

In 2020, I see myself as a confident young woman, looking to improve herself a little more each and everyday. Professionally, I plan to be a published writer, with possible income supplementation from working as a teacher. I see myself in a much healthier body, physically and emotionally.  Maybe I am married or in a committed relationship with a man who has kids, or we adopt kids, or maybe we decide not to be parents ourselves.  Regardless, I expect to be involved in the community, especially with youth sports.  I see myself participating in numerous 5K walks/races to raise funds for a variety of causes. If I'm incredibly lucky, I'll still be butting heads with my mother about the cows, or worrying that she is doing far too much manual labor. Finally, I want to be maintaining friendships with my lifelong friends, sharing joys with them and helping heal during the sorrowful times, too. If finances allow, I'll travel and enjoy new experiences. If finances aren't so bountiful, I will stay put...and find new experiences to enjoy.

I suppose I could write a more detailed outline of where I will be and how I will get there, yet that has never been my style and I am pretty happy with the person I am and most of my style. It's the free-spirited part that I can work on, and I'm happy 11-year-old Me reminded the 33-year-old me of that.

Facebook Rehab

I recently decided to "take a break" from Facebook, and deactivate my account. Deactivating one's account is perfect for commitment-phobes like myself since it retains information so when I decide to return (and I'm fairly certain I will) I will still have photos, friends, etc.

So yet again, I have begun the Facebook detox cycle. First, I became frustrated/disillusioned/bored/accomplished the highest level of my game-of-the-week and felt it would be a good time to detach myself from Facebook and spend my time more...intelligently.

Step 1: I deactivated my account on Sunday evening. I know myself well enough to realize this is likely a phase, so deleting my account would be obnoxious. Simply deactivating the account made more sense. I chose not to post a "warning" to friends since that seems melodramatic and narcissistic.

Step 2: Life without Facebook requires some adjustment.

1 hour Facebook-free: I just opened up my web browser and had to stop myself from automatically going to Facebook.

3 hours FF: I am ready for bed, and only feel slightly tempted to check the site.

12 hours FF: To make it easier to *not* log back in and reactivate my computer, I don't start my computer until later in the morning - and then I am making a conscious effort to focus solely on my email.

Throughout the day, I find myself thinking in "status update" mode...basically, what I would post to Twitter if I had access.

24 hours FF: My mother relays a message that someone thinks I have unfriended her. That was how my mother found out I was "off Facebook."

26 hours FF: Apparently feeling some sort of need to communicate with the outside world, I take to Twitter and tweet three times in an hour. It is the first time I have been on that site in about a month.

38 hours FF: I find myself wondering about the "need" to be on Facebook: like the page I was co-admin for, getting addresses, communicating to family about an upcoming gathering. Yet, I still feel I need to stay off the network.

43 hours FF: My mother asks, "Are you back on yet?!" She posts updates daily...and usually more than one.

47 hours FF: I have weeded through and "read" all of my email in my Gmail inbox. I still need to go through the "Promotions" box, and could clean up the "Social" section, but I've spent a big chunk of time on that today.

48 hours FF: Blogging for the first time in five months!

I'm curious to see how long I can go without logging on to Facebook, and if I do log on, can I limit the frequency and usage of it? We'll see what the next few days have in store.

Resolutions Still on Track!

It's strange how I was convinced I blogged twice in January when, obviously, I did not. As an update on my New Year's Resolutions, I have not lost one pound.  I have lost TWO pounds!  So now, for the next eleven months, I just need to "maintain" my success.

This post is part of my second resolution, to blog more regularly.  Knowing how busy I will be in the coming months, I plan to write at least once more this month so I can stay on top of my goal (ten entries over eight different months).

I'm still working on family member forgiveness. No major progress on that front.

I haven't pulled out the novel in a while, but that WILL change this month. I promise!

Still no (full-time) job. Yet.

I recently considered nother writing goal: writing a poem a week.  I wrote a short one for my grandfather's birthday but I still need to write about five more to catch up.  I'd feel a strong sense of accomplishment at the end of the year if I have written 50 poems that are not absolutely dreadful.

I've been doing some reading, too.  In January I finished Lake Wobegon Days by Garrison Keillor and Billy Blockade/Morality by Stephen King. I'm currently reading Anna Karenina by Leo Tolstoy and I am finding it enjoyable.

Finally, I find myself trying not to watch any more repeats on television. There are many wonderful new contributions to culture that I have decided to take advantage of, like Suits, Elementary and my latest obsession: Downton Abbey. I am five episodes into the first season and unanswered questions are eating me up...like what is up with Bates's situation and why can't he and Anna just be happy together???

It's that time of year again!

New Year's Resolutions - yay!! I'm not sure why I get so excited to write down "resolutions" that I do not keep.  Perhaps I should be concerned about ruining my credibility, but frankly, I was quite amused to read the seven resolutions I made last year and didn't come close to keeping ANY of them. So tonight I write down the 2013 Resolutions, and God willing, will be able to look back and laugh on January 1, 2014.

2013 Resolutions of Stroutacus:

1). Lose weight. Yes, I am one of those people, wanting to lose weight. But this year, I have a specific goal in mind.  I RESOLVE TO LOSE ONE POUND in 2013.

2). Blog regularly.  Of course, I had this resolution for 2012 and there were no blog entries after the end of July. So I have crafted a more specific goal for this one as well: I RESOLVE TO BLOG TEN TIMES IN EIGHT DIFFERENT MONTHS in 2013 (I'm already 10% there!).

3). Forgive certain family members. I can only move forward from past pain by forgiving those who have inflicted it on me, but man, it's tough to do when it is so much easier to pout and be angry.  Still, I am putting it out there as a resolution. Now, I would pick one to forgive, but I am equally angry with all of them so I don't know where I'd begin. Maybe the sister-in-law...you know, get the most difficult one out of the way.

4). I resolve to finish my book in 2013. End of story...literally.

5).  GET A JOB. Okay, that's not really a resolution so much as a "To-Do" item. I think I'm starting to get
confused.

Happy New Year!

Six weeks later...

The Resolution Locomotive left New Year's Junction at a steady, if not slow and bumpy pace.  It is now safe to say, though, that the line has completely derailed just shy of Six Week Station.

Writing?  Well, the blogging has improved somewhat but I have not been writing nearly enough.  Weight loss? Ha. Although I did hop on the treadmill once a week the last couple weeks. Reading?  Sort of.  I'm now about 50 pages into Anna Karenina - woo hoo! (seriously, I am enjoying the story even though it doesn't seem to be reading "quickly").  Budget? Not quite what I had hoped. I've been maxing out the allotment for groceries.  Job? I don't think I have been making as much progress there as I should have, but there is still time and I do feel more focused, although I foresee the need for more training which means more debt. 

Perhaps you're reading this, and thinking, "man, why do I need to read about this?" You don't, so I do appreciate your time BUT I am feeling both relief because it is only six-seven weeks into the year so I can still turn it around and I am also feeling more accountability for the goals I made for myself just by putting them out into the beautiful blogosphere. Hopefully, you may feel the same if you are in a similar situation with your resolutions. In the immortal words of Red Green, "I'm pulling for you. We're all in this together."

Ambition, thy name is....any work by Tolstoy

On Google+, I had remarked that I should have including "reading more" on my list of resolutions.  If I had, that would have provided me with at least one resolution that would likely be accomplished. I shouldn't be too hard on myself; it is still the first month. So far, I have one regret - I didn't make it to church last Sunday, and I won't be able to go next Sunday due to an out-of-town conference.  Otherwise, my other goals still have potential.

Anyway, I read Water for Elephants, Bednob and Broomstick, Stuart Little, and Julie and Julia. I just started Anna Karenina.  And when I mean "just started" I mean I am 20 pages in after an hour of reading.  So I have a ways to go since I don't anticipate the pace to pick up much over the next 780 pages or so. But I will definitely feel a sense of accomplishment once I finish the tome; and so far I do find it interesting.

Once I finish Anna Karenina, I will likely opt for some Stephen King or some other contemporary work that should read fast.  Or I may take a break from reading altogether for a while!

Is there a grace period for resolutions?

Feeling guilty that I haven't been blogging lately, I decided to review all of my "new year's resolutions" while I thought of it. I haven't written 1000 words a day yet; missed blogging last week altogether; exercised for 30 minutes a day an average of six days a week (although it's been low intensity); attended church once this month; did some research on teacher certification; lost one pound total in the last three weeks; and I blew my monthly budget about a week ago - yikes!


In summary, I have some work to do to make progress with all of my resolutions but it's still early in the year. Even though I may not experience a lot of initial success, I know that things can turn around. There's plenty of time left in 2012!


On an unrelated note, I am very proud to say that Ziva is officially housebroken - thanks to Lilly the Super Sheltie-Aussie.  If I had to use one pet to house train the other, does that make me a horrible pet owner, or a spectacular one?

A rocky start

Okay, I looked over my resolutions, and I am not off to the best start but if I remain positive and focused, I should pick up some momentum.  I haven't written 1,000 words each day, but I have been writing daily, mostly through a journal of letters to my nephew.

Due to family drama, I haven't been able to see my step-nephews and nephew for a few months, and prior to that, when I saw them in public, they ignored me. It's  been difficult dealing with the sudden change in the relationships, particularly with my six-year-old nephew.  It's been hardest on my mother, however.  My step-nephews were getting to the age where they didn't want to hang out with their grandmother or aunt as much.  My youngest nephew, though, used to enjoy doing activities with us and we both miss that.

Since we haven't been able to give them the gifts we purchased, Mom decided she would set up an account and keep a journal of the times she thought of him, or something she wanted to buy, put the money into an account and turn everything over to him once he's graduated high school.  I liked the idea, and started my own journal of letters to my nephew.  It's amazing what little things remind me of him, and it's also helped me a lot since it gives me a much-needed outlet for my thoughts.

All of the drama is why I want to develop myself spiritually because it has been incredibly difficult dealing with my hurt and disappointment in the behavior of several family members. I realize there are people who have it worse than I do, and there will be better days. Still, I've allowed the recent stress to affect my eating habits, which leads into my "eat less, exercise more" resolution (although I have that one on the list EVERY year).

Six months ago, I started Weight Watchers Online and had great success over the first three months.  The last three months did not go nearly as well, and I gained back ten pounds.  I've been struggling to get back on track with the plan and hope tomorrow's weigh-in will be the spark I need to just put one foot in front of the other.

I resolve...

I am one of those people who likes making New Year's resolutions.  I do place importance on the first day of the year being a day of new beginnings, and an appropriate time to implement changes (or at least be more diligent in efforts to make changes). Here are my resolutions, in no particular order:

1) I resolve to write daily.  My goal is to write 1,000 words daily.
2) I resolve to blog on a REGULAR basis.  My goal is to blog twice a week.
3) I resolve to exercise regularly. My goal is to be active five to six days a week, for at least 30 minutes but ideally working up to an hour each day.
4) I resolve to develop myself spiritually. My goal is to attend church at least twice a month, and I think I want to learn more about meditation.
5) I resolve to develop myself professionally. My goal is to have a full-time job by the end of 2012.  I intend to do that by creating detailed short-term and long-term plans to enter the career I want.
6) I resolve to lose one pound each week (which sounds much less intimidating than "lose 50 pounds in a year").
7) I resolve to adhere to a monthly budget.  My goal is to live within my limits, and shift my spending mindset from "splurge" to "save."

These seven resolutions are ambitious, but each is extremely important to me, and I have tried to make them as realistic as possible. I am very excited to assess the status of each throughout the year!