Tipping the scales in my favor...

I have a confession.  I am obsessed with the bathroom scales. It's strange, but regardless of what number shows up, I LOVE weighing myself. I have absolutely no idea why. Perhaps it fills the void as some sort of mutated superstitious ritual, the sort of ritual I thrived on while playing softball in high school. Instead of bringing victory to the team, the scales dance is a victory against the weight. At least when the number drops from the previous day or week, anyway.

Calling it a "scales dance" is not far from the truth. I wake up, go to the bathroom, and place the scales in the spot in the room where I seem to weigh the least. The laws of physics are apparently fluid in the bathroom; sometimes I weigh three-tenths of a pound less if I slide the scales to the left along the floor about four inches. I have slid the scales around the linoleum a few times before realizing that I have reached the lowest number I will reach. Since our scales typically display lower numbers, I always weigh myself at least three times. Or until I see the same weight three times - whichever occurs first.

Some days I am pleasantly surprised to step on and not see an increase. I am elated when I see a loss even if it is less than half a pound. Of course, some days I step on and scratch my head, wondering why I gained so much in such a short period of time (most weight loss resource materials tell me that there is a one to two pound variation in weight day-to-day). I'd be lying if I said it never gets to me but I try to keep numbers in perspective.

Therefore I utilize body measurements when the scales are holding steadfast and denying me a sense of progress. It is extremely gratifying when I see the inches dwindle off my waistline (Fredo is not completely gone yet). Finding moments of self-satisfaction contribute to building and maintaining stamina throughout the weight loss journey.

On a side note, I am extremely excited to announce that my FIRST guest post will be up in the next day or two....I'm so excited!

A "Dear John" letter to my dear gut

For anyone who has fought or is fighting in the Battle of the Bulging Belly, you have probably read or heard a variety of techniques to motivate you to exercise, stick with a diet, etc. One method that I came across several years ago spoke to the writer in me. The person wrote a break-up letter to her stomach.  I thought it was an interesting concept, so I gave it a shot. This version is edited slightly; I can be a bit vulgar sometimes but on this platform, I try to keep it clean. I chose to name my gut (which is the excessive part of my abdominal area - not the essential organs and such) "Fredo" after the character from The Godfather.

Dear Fredo, 
I know we've been through a lot.  You came into my life in full force when I was 10 so Mom started taking me to WeightWatchers with her. That was just the beginning of our relationship. In fact, I haven't been able to shake you since then.

 I thought I would move on without you after my freshmen year of high school when I flirted with Field Hockey that fall so you weren't around as much. But  then I spent less time with Field Hockey and more time with you and that other couple we've spent so much time with, Food and Television. I'll give you credit for sticking with me during the turbulent teenage years of high school, and then the stress fest that was college. We didn't do the Freshman Fifteen - we went all out for the Freshman Forty! 

I got serious about ending things during my junior year when I went to Weight Watchers at Work.  The leader was great, I enjoyed my fellow attendees, and faithfully attended meetings - until the summer was over. I still don't know how you convinced me to just go for weigh-ins...that I didn't need to stay for the actual meeting. After college, we partied like rock stars when I moved home with the parents, and then to Vermont for work. Despite everything I said about getting in shape those next few years, I never followed through.

Then there was that "intervention" with the girls in the fall of 2009. We agreed to train for a 5K together - and I really, really thought you were moving out for good. Even after the lay-off and a seizure resulted in me being in Maine without driving privileges, I kept exercising and you were disappearing. When I thought I was well on my way to being on my own, there they were: cupcakes! I just know you had something to do with that. You know how I feel about frosting.

Finally, the third Weight Watchers attempt over a year ago didn't take after the parents' divorce and the holidays from hell. And now? Well, now I am tired of the excuses I make to myself for not kicking you out permanently. You're bad news for my bad back and bad knees. You do NOTHING for me. You are sucking the life out of me - emotionally and physically. We're done. Pack your bags of lard and get out!!

Not-so-fondly,
Stroutacus

Facebook: Friend or Foe?

I am a Facebook addict.  I have tried to "kick the habit" and even went off line for several days. And by several, I mean three. Okay, two and a half. Anyway, the point is that I still regularly log in, both on my computer and via my phone.  On my phone I tend to focus on alerts from close friends and updating my own status or uploading photos. On the computer, however, I find myself  scrolling through the newsfeed and refreshing constantly for new comments, notifications, any information that I can use as a distraction, and (guilty pleasure confession) playing games. I chastise myself for wasting time with it and yet I continue to incorporate it into my daily routine.

Over the past several years, my use of Facebook has evolved almost as much as its privacy policies.  At first, I almost exclusively reported that I was "working" or "should be working but playing Farmville instead." Since then, after  a combination of deeper psychological probing ("what's on your mind?"), an exponential increase in my number of associates ("friends") and family drama, I decided to incorporate a greater purpose to my contributions to the site.  For example, I started a page for my favorite Simmental cow Lisa, in which she posts periodic updates about life on the farm from her perspective. Writing for Lisa allows me to use Facebook as an educational tool to promote agriculture as well as practice to sharpen my writing skills.

Beyond my posts, I have connected with people from all areas of my life. As a result, I have been inspired and educated. For starters, several people have enlightened me to various weight loss tools or shared their personal journeys which I find motivating. I discovered My Fitness Pal through Facebook and I cheer on friends making healthy decisions for themselves through programs like Weight Watchers. I've also seen some neat agricultural promotions along with general quotes and sentiments that stimulate my mind. Occasionally professional information and job leads are available.

Bottom line: Facebook can be a foe but it can be a friend. It's all in how you use it, I guess.  In the grand scheme of things I may regret spending so much time on Bejeweled Blitz (even if I did torch it up for over a million points), but there are people who would not be in my life at all if it weren't for social networking. Besides enjoying those renewed friendships, I hope to continue to utilize it in the most positive and beneficial manner possible for both my weight loss struggle and agricultural advocacy, or "agvocacy".  Granted it would be a bit easier if everyone chose to be more positive in their posts but life is meant to be full of challenges, isn't it?

It's that time of year again!

New Year's Resolutions - yay!! I'm not sure why I get so excited to write down "resolutions" that I do not keep.  Perhaps I should be concerned about ruining my credibility, but frankly, I was quite amused to read the seven resolutions I made last year and didn't come close to keeping ANY of them. So tonight I write down the 2013 Resolutions, and God willing, will be able to look back and laugh on January 1, 2014.

2013 Resolutions of Stroutacus:

1). Lose weight. Yes, I am one of those people, wanting to lose weight. But this year, I have a specific goal in mind.  I RESOLVE TO LOSE ONE POUND in 2013.

2). Blog regularly.  Of course, I had this resolution for 2012 and there were no blog entries after the end of July. So I have crafted a more specific goal for this one as well: I RESOLVE TO BLOG TEN TIMES IN EIGHT DIFFERENT MONTHS in 2013 (I'm already 10% there!).

3). Forgive certain family members. I can only move forward from past pain by forgiving those who have inflicted it on me, but man, it's tough to do when it is so much easier to pout and be angry.  Still, I am putting it out there as a resolution. Now, I would pick one to forgive, but I am equally angry with all of them so I don't know where I'd begin. Maybe the sister-in-law...you know, get the most difficult one out of the way.

4). I resolve to finish my book in 2013. End of story...literally.

5).  GET A JOB. Okay, that's not really a resolution so much as a "To-Do" item. I think I'm starting to get
confused.

Happy New Year!

Here I go again!

After taking a break during my weight loss journey (okay, I got lost, circled back a ways BUT I found the path again), I am starting back up.  Instead of using WeightWatchers or SparkPeople, I have opted for the free My FitnessPal. It fits into my budget better than WeightWatchers does, and although it's very similar to SparkPeople, I think the novelty and simplicity of it will help me stay with it long-term. I found out about it through an acquaintance on Facebook and I was very impressed with her results.  Keeping my fingers crossed that my motivation will stay with me!

Created by MyFitnessPal - Free Weight Loss Tools

A rocky start

Okay, I looked over my resolutions, and I am not off to the best start but if I remain positive and focused, I should pick up some momentum.  I haven't written 1,000 words each day, but I have been writing daily, mostly through a journal of letters to my nephew.

Due to family drama, I haven't been able to see my step-nephews and nephew for a few months, and prior to that, when I saw them in public, they ignored me. It's  been difficult dealing with the sudden change in the relationships, particularly with my six-year-old nephew.  It's been hardest on my mother, however.  My step-nephews were getting to the age where they didn't want to hang out with their grandmother or aunt as much.  My youngest nephew, though, used to enjoy doing activities with us and we both miss that.

Since we haven't been able to give them the gifts we purchased, Mom decided she would set up an account and keep a journal of the times she thought of him, or something she wanted to buy, put the money into an account and turn everything over to him once he's graduated high school.  I liked the idea, and started my own journal of letters to my nephew.  It's amazing what little things remind me of him, and it's also helped me a lot since it gives me a much-needed outlet for my thoughts.

All of the drama is why I want to develop myself spiritually because it has been incredibly difficult dealing with my hurt and disappointment in the behavior of several family members. I realize there are people who have it worse than I do, and there will be better days. Still, I've allowed the recent stress to affect my eating habits, which leads into my "eat less, exercise more" resolution (although I have that one on the list EVERY year).

Six months ago, I started Weight Watchers Online and had great success over the first three months.  The last three months did not go nearly as well, and I gained back ten pounds.  I've been struggling to get back on track with the plan and hope tomorrow's weigh-in will be the spark I need to just put one foot in front of the other.

NaNoWriMo has begun!

Day one of NaNoWriMo is complete for me, and I'm very happy I wrote more than my original goal of 1,667 words.  So far, things are going according to the loose plan I laid out, although I have to remind myself not to think too far ahead and become overwhelmed.  So far, though, it's mostly been a lot of fun and excitement.  I highly recommend it for anyone that enjoys writing and has the time to do it (or willing to commit to it).

In a couple side notes (which I know I shouldn't do, but I do put "random" in the blog description, after all).  November is National Epilepsy Awareness Month, and I consider it very important for people to be aware of epilepsy, for personal reasons especially.  If there is one myth that should be dispelled - NEVER put something in a person's mouth if he/she is having a seizure!

Weigh-in tomorrow...not expecting great things after not tracking my food the last couple weeks, nor have I been exercising regularly BUT since it is the beginning of a new week, it will be a fresh start.  Plus, I'm going to hop on the treadmill for at least 15 minutes, hopefully a half hour. Positive thinking!

Wednesday Weigh-In: Wrong Direction - Time for a U-Turn

Today's weigh-in yielded similar results to a few previous - I am up again 1.4 lbs, which isn't horrible, but it's still a little discouraging. And with some life stress, lately I've been in a funk anyway.  I just keep trying to tell myself that tomorrow is always a new day, and not to give up on myself (and I know I did that this week).  I've been more active over the last week, and that will be the positive thing I focus on as I try to change some other strategies this week - better meal planning and portion control, in addition to diligent tracking.  Sometimes, you just have to rework your strategy to find success, like when you're playing Angry Birds. That's right, I just compared my weight loss journey to Angry Birds.

Plateaus....grrrrrr

I thought I had blogged at least once in the last month, but apparently not.  No excuses, but I have been away from the computer for a few weeks due to commitments at local fairs.  I have a bit of a lull now so I best catch up.

So I have hit a plateau in my weight loss, but I knew it was coming. I am extremely proud of myself for not letting things get wildly out of control, though, and I'm trying to focus on the basics again - journaling food, drinking plenty of water, and getting into an exercise routine. I look at this next week as a challenge; I hope to lose a pound but more importantly, I hope to reestablish a healthy routine.

And I decided to take a vacation from Facebook in hopes of finding a more productive and positive use of my time. We'll see how long it lasts and if it helps.